Can't Be Friends
by felicitytorres
Summary: Inspired by the song.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: song inspired fic "Can't be Friends" Slight spoiler for "Supply and Demand"**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

It was sometime after Emily's death and after Spencer admitted he was having fears about his sanity. We were all headed home for the night after thankfully an uneventful day at the BAU. We all seemed a little worn after all the emotional up-heaval as of late. Pretty Boy was dragging his feet heading toward the elevator. I decided to stop him and ask if he wanted to go catch a bite to eat, and maybe get a drink. I don't know if either he was too tired to say no, or just really did want to go, but either way I think we both needed the company. This past year had been a roller coaster. With JJ's departure, a new recruit, and Emily's death, I think we were both looking for something old and familiar, and our friendship fit into that catagory.

_And I wish we never did it_

After dinner and a few drinks at the bar and grill, I took him home. The ride to his place was full of our usual playful banter. It felt good. It felt comfortable and easy. It was too good to be true, I guess thats why I had to do something to mess it up. When I pulled over to let him out at his place, something in me just made me do it. I didn't want him to leave my car, so when he smiled and said goodbye and reached over for the handle to get out the car, I reacted. I pulled him back in. He was startled at first but even more startled when I leaned over and kissed him. Surprisingly he kissed back, although tentatively at first, but once we got warmed up, it was a scorching kiss. A kiss I think about a lot at night. A kiss I wish I could take back.

_And I wish we never loved it._

When we finally pulled away from each other. We were both dazed. He fumbled out of the car without looking back. I wanted to go and stop him, but honestly I didn't know what to say. What was that? And why was it so amazing? And why am I scared to death right now? This is the last thing we need. Just when I was trying to reach out for something familiar, and comfortable, I just made things foreign and awkward. I really fucked up this friendship. How can we ever go back to being friends, just plain old friends?

_And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you, and now it aint no way we can be friends._

For weeks after the incident we walked on egg shells around each other. The whole team could sense something was up with us two, but not in a million years would they guess it would be something so unlikely as this. Although I knew he was avoiding me, I could still feel his gaze on me when he felt I wasn't looking, and I'm sure he felt mine on him as well. I couldn't get him out of my mind. But I knew this wasn't what either one of us wanted. I didn't want to feel this way about him.

_And if I knew it end like this, I never would've kissed you, cause I fell in love with you._

So, when Hotch told us that other job opportunities were coming our way, and to let him know if we were considering them. I wasn't surprised when Reid decided to leave the BAU to teach at a local college near by. And it was no shock that I took the New York field office job. I think we both knew we couldn't face one another each day feeling the way we felt. It would have been too difficult, and unsettling and neither one of us wanted to take the chance to actually explore our feelings further. So we took the cowards way out and departed from one another. Damn, if I could only go back and change it, I would.

_And it aint no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you._

_Aint no telling what we could've been._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: more song inspired lyrics of "Can't be Friends" dedicated to darkangel-silvermoon :)**

_But what we've done we can't take it back._

_Now I'm sitting here going half crazy, cause I know she/he still thinks about me too._

I'm here in New York one of the biggest cities in the world offering all kinds of nightlife, restaurants, shows, clubs, etc... but all I can think about is a certain Dr. Spencer Reid. I can't believe I actually took this job and left Virginia. I left Spencer. What was I thinking? I mean I know I made things weird between us, but I honestly would rather have weird than nothing at all. And that's not even a completely honest statement. I want more between us. And I felt that he wanted the same, but we weren't brave enough to face our feelings. We avoided each other like the plague after that kiss, and tried to pretend it never happened. But it did happen, and it changed EVERYTHING. I think I owe it to myself to confront him and try to see where these feeling lead. Just the thought is scaring me out of my mind. This could be a life altering move on my part. What would my family and friends think about me in a relationship with another man? How would I feel about myself? I already ruined the friendship and turned it into being a barely tolerable association. What could admitting my feelings to him turn this into? I just know I don't want to be his friend anymore. That ship sailed in the front seat of my car many months ago. I want more than that, and I know in my gut he does too. I have to do this for my own peace of mind. I can't keep going on wondering what could've been.

_But it aint no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: last installment of "Can't Be Friends". I can't tell you how many times I've listened to this song so I could finish this. It was supposed to be a one shot but as another has said before, plot bunnies kept popping up. So this is it. Thank you guys for those who give reviews. I appreciate the love. **

I decided I needed to take some time off to deal with this situation with Reid, so I put in for a week of vacation time and headed straight to Virginia. I didn't have any social plans in mind so I didn't contact anyone from the team to let them know I was in town. The only thing on my agenda was talking to Reid and sorting through this mass of feelings I was going through. I chose not to announce my arrival to him in fear that he might try and avoid me, so I just showed up one day on campus at the lecture hall where he was teaching. It was completely priceless the look on his face when I creeped in the room. I was sitting in the back of his class just watching him do what he does best, ramble on and on about facts and statistics. I didn't even care what he was talking about, I was just relieved to hear his voice again. I never knew how much I would miss just hearing him speak. Suffice it to say he was a bit rattled at first upon seeing me, but he recovered quickly and went back into lecture mode. The class ended ten minutes after I got there. I stayed in the back waiting for everyone to disperse before approaching him. Fortunately I didn't get to make the first approach, he came to me.

"Derek. What are you doing here?"

Derek, huh. It was the first time that I ever heard him speak my first name. Maybe that is one of the benefits of no longer working with each other. We can now become just plain old Spencer and Derek. I liked the sound of it.

"Well, Spencer...I just had to see you. You've been on my mind a lot lately. I just don't think we have dealt with things the way we should have. Avoiding one another, and acting like nothing has happened just isn't working for me anymore. I just think we need to really sit down and talk. Please just hear me out. We need to do this."

"Derek, now is not the time or the place. I have another class in fifteen minutes."

"Pretty Boy, of course not now, but later. Maybe I could come over. I could cook if you want me to."

Spencer was taken back by Derek's presence. And just hearing him call him Pretty Boy again made his heart beat flutter. How can one person have so much power over you? Whenever Derek is around him he felt all control escaping, and that scared him. But at the same time the emotions were exciting and thrilling to him. He ran from this once, he didn't know if he could run again and that was frightening.

"Uh...that won't be necessary...we could order in... I think, we should talk to clear the air. I don't like feeling so awkward around you."

"I don't like that either, but what I have to say may not make things any easier."

Spencer's brows creased with curiousity.

"But look, we can get into that later. How bout I meet you at your place around 7pm. Is that good for you?"

"Uh... yeah. 7 pm will be fine."

"Good. I'll see you then. And Spencer, you can order whatever you want I don't think I'll have much of an appetite. See you then." Derek said as he was exiting the room.

"Yeah, see you then."

_The way it felt, no faking it._

Seven was approaching much too soon for Spencer's liking. He was pacing the floor of his apartment, practically creating a groove in the floor. He wasn't ready for this conversation. He should call Derek back and tell him not to come. What if he admitted to actually having feelings for him? How would he respond? Could he tell him the truth? Could he tell him how he really felt? What would it do to them? How would they move forward? This was just a little too scary to deal with. I'm backing out this dinner right now. As Spencer went to pick up his phone. Derek rang the doorbell. There was no turning back now.

Spencer breathed a deep sigh and opened the door.

"Hey, ah... you're a little early aren't you?"

"Yeah, just a little. The longer I sat around waiting to come, the more nervous I got and if I waited any longer I was going to chicken out. You know me, chickening out is not my style."

Spencer smiled. He felt some relief that Derek was just as terrified as he was.

"Well, I'll admit I was just a few seconds away from calling you telling you not to come."

Derek chuckled. "This is that bad huh."

"No, I didn't mean to suggest that..."

"Listen I understand. Can we have a seat."

"Sure, I'm sorry, come in."

Derek and Spencer sat on the couch. Derek took a deep breath and said to himself, 'here goes'.

"Look Spencer I'm just going to go straight for the jugular on this thing. I'm not going to dance around it. * sigh * When I kissed you back then, I don't know what came over me, but at first I was regretting it so much because I wanted everything to go back to normal between us. But I think that's just impossible. That short kiss changed things for me. I don't look at you the same way. I don't want to be your friend anymore Spencer, I want so much more than that and that scares the hell out of me, but it's the truth. I can't lie about it anymore. Not to you, or myself. So that's it. I'm laying it all out for you. I'm sorry that its awkward and weird, or frightening for you but it's the truth. I don't know what else to say."

Spencer paused for a moment digesting everything that Derek said. He couldn't believe how honest Derek was being with him. He was sure he was going to hear a speech about 'how it was a mistake, but things don't have to be weird between them, they can go on being friends like before'. He didn't know if he was more afraid of that speech, or the speech he just heard.

"Derek, I...don't know what to say..."

"Just tell me how you feel." Derek said softly.

"I...feel...excited, afraid, definitely afraid, and I feel...aroused." Spencer blushed crimsom on that last one.

Derek's smile grew wide.

"Listen I've thought about that kiss non stop, and it scared the life out of me. I guess why I was so scared is because,...I never felt that way before. It felt so right, but I just knew you were going to regret it so I never wanted to mention it again. Ever. But I'm happy that you felt like I did. Derek, you're all I ever think about."

Derek took that as his cue to move. He leaned in towards Spencer and yet again, on the couch this time, he experienced the second most amazing kiss he had ever had in his life. And with any luck he was hoping to experience those kisses for a lifetime. The food in the kitchen was getting cold, but the couch cushions were flaming hot with the passion being displayed on them.

_Maybe we were moving just a little too fast._

_But what we've done we can't take it back._

I don't think tonight either one would take back what they were feeling for one another. Not being friends was the best thing to ever happen to them.


End file.
